Reminding Myself Why I am Here

Recently I have had some major issues dealing with the fact that I am grown now, and I need to start making tough decisions. I would say at this moment right now I am at a whole new level of homesick. I cannot sleep at night because my mind will not stop racing on the things that I am trying to not think about. This all started after I took my last trip back home to Dallas. I got home and my dad was a week late on his electricity bill because he had to use almost all of his check to pay for my college payment, and a little spending money for myself. When I saw this I started thinking constantly about what I am doing. I have not been the student that I planned to be since I started college, I do not drink, or smoke, or do any kind of drugs, but I still have this feeling that I need to do more. I need to put fourth more effort, I need to get more organized, I need too be the student, son, and athlete that I know I can be. It has always been easy for me to give half of the effort I can give and just get by doing a little more than the minimum. It is time that I challenged myself, it is time that I prepare myself for what will happen in the future, it is time that I grow up. It took me learning that hard way that I need to grow up. It took some pain inside and out to realize that I am going to be on my own. I understand now, that I need to do everything to the best of my ability. I cannot get by doing the minimum anymore, not if I want to succeed in this game we call life. For the first time I believe that I truly know what I am doing, why I am here. I am here to set up myself for a good future. I need to struggle now so that I will never have to do it again outside of college. This should be the case for almost every college student, it is hard for a reason.